


Romantic Tropes in Tuxes

by imsorrycantrelate



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Lots of romance, M/M, a tiny bit of implied stuff, but mostly just cute stuff, earth c kinda, just a short sweet fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 08:25:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12744624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imsorrycantrelate/pseuds/imsorrycantrelate
Summary: Dave wonders what Karkat has been anxious about all day. Karkat wouldn't even let Dave leave his room. When he finally leaves he finds himself in Karkat's best attempt at reenacting the romance tropes he's dreamed about.





	Romantic Tropes in Tuxes

Dave wasn’t entirely sure why Karkat had told him to stay in his upstairs room. And wear a tux. He hadn’t bothered to put one of these babies on since he had his god tier outfit, so, what was even the point then? He adjusted his tie as he looked at the mirror Karkat had, his giant-ass wall-taking-up mirror. He noticed Karkat’s cologne (straight from the void) was gone. Dave brushed his hair as he checked the time. It was already the evening. What the fuck was Karkat up to? Dave had been stuck up there, making memes to share with his friends. He remembered that he needed to teach the Earth C citizens what those were. Next on the agenda. 

He wouldn’t have been so bothered about not being able to leave his room if Karkat hadn’t told him to do it, he probably wouldn’t have even noticed the time passing, but now he couldn’t stop thinking of what Karkat wanted to do so badly. Probably watch another rom-com again. Dave wasn’t sure why Karkat would need that much time to prepare that. Maybe he was getting frisky and wanted to reenact Love Actually. 

Then he heard Karkat’s beautiful yell. “You can come down fuckwit!” screeched Karkat in his familiar scratchy voice. 

Dave adjusted his glasses and went outside. He got to the sweeping staircase Karkat had insisted on putting in their home. He said if Rose and Kanaya had one that dramatic then they should too. Dave got to the handrail, preparing to slide down it. It was weird not feeling his cape fly behind him. As he sat down on the handrail he heard Karkat peeking from behind the staircase, “I think the fuck not Dave you are walking down those fucking stairs or so help me.” Dave got off the handrail. 

“You’re usually insistent, but not this insistent. Why do I have to listen to you?” He sat back on the handrail out of spite. “You’re not even showing yourself.” 

“Just, trust me, Dave, just walk down the shit fucking stairs!” Dave was surprised to find there was actually genuine emotion behind Karkat’s words. He got off the handrail and quickly walked down the stairs.

“No! No, you, you fucking nook-sucking bitch fuck walk back up those stairs! You’re doing it wrong.” 

“How the fuck can I be doing this wrong?” 

“You have to walk slowly, Dave, slowly. And hold onto the handrail.”

Dave groaned. This many hours not seeing Karkat’s stupid face was killing him. He grasped the handrail and started walking back down. He held his head high with a smug look on his face. “That any better?” He had his eyes closed as he turned the corner so that he was facing Karkat. 

“Yes, thank you, honey.” Dave opened his eyes and saw the scene Karkat had spent all day to set up. A candlelit dinner with classical music playing. The lights had been dimmed to accentuate the candles. Dave sniffed the air. Fuck, that sweet apple cinnamon aroma from the candles filled his lungs now. The window curtains were pushed back so they could look out to the clear night sky of Earth C. As always, their couch was already set up with blankets and rom-com movies. On most days that was the extent of their “date days” which happened...every other day...okay more like every day. Dave guessed Karkat had just felt like going the extra mile. He finally looked at Karkat, who was at the dinner table ready to seat Dave. 

Dave immediately noticed that Karkat was wearing a suit. He had forgotten he had never seen Karkat wear one. Karkat was adjusting his suit, his beautiful black suit that emphasized his best curves on that wonderful giant, chubby body of his and made him more regal than a knight. Well, Dave realized the both of them were knights anyway. Dave concluded to himself he was still right because Karkat was rocking the suit more than Dave felt he was rocking his. Karkat’s tail swished behind him and his claws were digging into the chair he was holding as if he was nervous. He looked up at Dave, and immediately his face became smug. 

Dave then realized all the heat on his cheeks was from his own blush. He pretended not to realize it and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Or he would have, had he had pockets. His hands awkwardly touched the sides of his legs and then went behind his back. 

Karkat walked over. Dave noticed Karkat had not spent the time or resources to get shoes that matched his outfit and he was just barefoot. Or maybe Karkat had bought a thousand pairs, but none of them matched his suit. Dave knew that Karkat would never answer that, so he would just be stuck with theories. 

Karkat was chuckling, “You like it?” He seemed to know the answer already. “C’mon, answer me you dipshit taint sniffer, answer the question.” Karkat started adjusting his tie and Dave noticed how the suit was a little small on Karkat because he could see Karkat’s pecs pushing into the fabric of the cloth. He also saw that those weird nub things on Karkat’s sides were pushing against the fabric too. 

Dave took too long to stare at Karkat. “Hey, fucking dick. Is this good enough for you?” Karkat was laughing under his breath. He stretched out his arms and pushed his chest out, seemingly on purpose to get Dave to blush more. “Why don’t you take those glasses off? So I can see your stupid fucking eyes?” Karkat sensually rubbed the back of one of his fingers against Dave’s cheek. Karkat could feel the flush of Dave’s cheek against his finger, which made him blush too. The bright red struck out against the grey. 

Dave took off his glasses, revealing his eyes and more of his red cheeks. “Yeah, I thought so,” laughed Karkat. “I see you’re finally appreciating the movies we watch.” 

“What? What do those fucking tropey as fuck shitty ass written nonsense plot, fluff stories have anything to do with this?” Dave was not going to let Karkat help him realize he had fallen for almost all the tropes. 

Karkat held the knot on Dave’s tie and pulled him closer so that their lips were barely touching. “I was thinking we’d have dinner, then maybe shake things up a bit and dance to music before watching a movie? How does that sound?” He tried his hardest to whisper in Dave’s ear. Dave put his hands on top of Karkat’s hips and squeezed slightly. 

“That sounds great,” Dave laughed. He held his head back as he waited for Karkat to give him a passionate kiss. Karkat held Dave’s hair in his hand. Karkat teased Dave by pushing his lips into his, but then reeled back, laughing at the top of his lungs. 

“God, Dave you’re so easy to fucking impress. You have been paying attention to those movies. I almost think you like them, even perhaps, unironically? It’s sad Dave. How dare you stoop to the level of I, the insipid little mongrel shit dump garbage who thought of all this?” 

Dave put a finger on Karkat’s lips. “Shush, shush, now what did I say about belittling yourself? You’re only allowed to insult me, remember?” Dave pulled his thumb across Karkat’s bottom lip and then put his hand behind Karkat’s giant fluffy ears. Man, those alien ears are just so fucking soft, thought Dave. Karkat was blushing. “I think I got being impressed easy from you.” 

Karkat grumbled and scrunched up his nose. “Let’s just eat food before this gets out of hand.” Karkat led Dave to a seat that he pulled from under the table, gesturing for Dave to sit like they were in a restaurant. Dave sat down as Karkat went over to his seat. As Karkat started pulling his seat from under the table, Dave shot up, shimmied his way out of the seat he was in, and pulled the chair out for Karkat. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing you fucking assclown?” 

“Sorry, just natural instinct. You were pulling up a chair.” 

“Fuck off you dickshit.” 

Dave laughed and shimmied his way back under into his seat. He grabbed his fork and knife then realized what was on his plate. “This is pizza.” 

Karkat took a handkerchief from his pocket and put it on his lap. “What, were you expecting steak Dave? I don’t know how to fucking cook. We were supposed to watch that how to cook video together and learn together but fucking no, that’s a whole new level of “gay”” He did the air quotes with his hands, “you weren’t ready to explore yet. Who’s expecting romantic comedy tropes now Dave?” 

“Look, it isn’t my fault if I came down some stairs, in a tux, stared at the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and then sat down at a candlelit dinner, then found myself in confusion, absolute and utter confusion, when the meal in front of me did not match the theme or setting of anything. There is a lack of consistency in this piece that I can’t stand for.” Dave was slightly smiling as he played along. 

“I can’t help it if pizza’s beauty can’t match my amazing ass,” said Karkat mid-bite, his fork in his mouth as he was eating the pizza like a steak. Dave started eating the pizza anyway. “See Dave? Are you saying you would have even preferred steak? I even got breadsticks.” Dave and Karkat reached for the breadsticks at the same time even though they were mid-bite. Dave swallowed his food and saw there was sparkling apple cider next to him. 

“No wine either?” Dave asked. 

Karkat cocked an eyebrow like he was prepared for the question. “I was going to wait till dessert...” He slowly chewed down his food and slowly winked. They both had to laugh. Dave was laughing more. “Shut up Dave! You shit fuck bitch assfuck. I was smooth that time. I don’t deserve this criticism.” 

Dave calmed down. He raised his glass and Karkat and Dave clinked their glasses together. “Toast to our fucking lives together or whatever the fuck they say in the movies,” said Dave. Karkat blushed, staring away as he was thinking of something else. Dave drowned his cider down as Karkat sipped his. 

The window was opened, so they could feel the wind brush their warm cheeks as they both stared out at the moon. The moon’s light reflected off their eyes and wine glasses of cider. Karkat stopped drinking his cider, instead deciding to swish it around, holding up his chin by leaning his elbow on the table. He stared into the cider, appreciating the captured moonlight. He had trouble looking back up at Dave. 

Dave already finished drinking his cider and was instead munching on the breadsticks that were left. He fixed his hair, noticing Karkat would only glance at him. Anxiety started to boil in his gut. Karkat touched the rim of his glass and took a deep breath. 

“I’m starting to think I’m ready for this dessert,” said Dave as he reached his hand out and touched Karkat’s. Karkat blushed and got up. 

“No, no we’re supposed to dance first. And I have something to tell you.” 

“What is it?” Dave looked concerned, making Karkat more embarrassed. 

“I’ll tell you in a second. But first,” he held his hand out to lift Dave out of his seat, “would you care for a dance?” 

Dave let Karkat pull him up. Karkat raised the volume of the classical music. He dimmed the lights even more until it only felt like the candles and the moon were lighting up the room. He grabbed Dave’s hand and then put a hand on his hip. Dave put his hand on Karkat’s shoulder and they began waltzing around the room. Karkat lead and held Dave so close their chests rubbed against each other. Each of their steps coincided with the rhythm of the music until their bodies were silently singing synchronously. Their eyes were closed half the time, only being able to differentiate their place in space and time from a dream by the gentle humming of the music and each other’s warmth. Dave craved every time Karkat spun him around and gently held him in his arms. Karkat even kissed Dave on the neck one time he spun him around. In his ears, he could feel Karkat’s pulse, as fast as a hummingbird’s. Dave’s heartbeat and breath quickened. He still wasn’t sure what was up with Karkat. He decided to worry about it later.

Then the music got slower, so it was just them rocking back and forth. Karkat pushed up Dave’s hair away from his forehead and kissed it. They pushed farther into each other and held each other. Karkat put his nose on Dave’s, their eyes closed. “Dave?” he whispered rather loudly. 

“Yes?” Dave could feel sweat already forming on Karkat’s face. Karkat could barely breathe. 

“We’ve been together for a long time-” Dave’s heart started beating faster. He wasn’t sure where this was going. Was this the final night before Karkat decided he was done with him? Was this his sick way of saying goodbye? “And I think we need to change something about our relationship-” Oh shit fuck shit. “Can you ever imagining leaving me?” No, but I can imagine the other way around, it’d be horrible, the fuck are you saying Karkat. 

“No, not at all.” Dave wished he could rip his heart out and give it to him so Karkat could feel how much he cared about him. 

“So you’d say you’re committed? To just, just me?” Karkat blushed at the thought. Dave remembered how used to quadrants the dude had been, it had taken him years to reverse those ideas. Dave smiled up at him, his heart fluttering.

“Yes. Just you.” 

Karkat looked ready to kiss him already, but still had plenty to say. “Would you, Dave Strider…” He took in a deep breath, coughed, trying to remember the line he had researched. “Join me in matrimony?” Dave’s expression turned from wariness to pure surprise as Karkat got down on one knee and showed him a ring he had obviously made himself out of crafting supplies.

Dave took a second to react. 

“I hope I did this correctly, I did a lot of research on human relationships and wanted to make sure I did this right. I’m sorry I don’t have a better ring.” Karkat shook a little. Dave took long to process it, just staring at Karkat mindlessly. Instead of fleeing or fighting, his reaction was just to freeze. Karkat took in deep breaths, his eyes beginning to tear up. He didn’t want to yell, or freak out, or do anything to make it even worse. He looked away and closed his eyes, a red tear traveling down his cheek and neck. Karkat’s breaths got heavy, as blood rushed to his brain and heart. This isn’t how he imagined it. Every second, every painful second, dug deeper into his heart. Dave fell to his knees so he was at the same level as Karkat. 

Dave put each of his hands into Karkat’s hair, rubbing off Karkat’s tears. He directed Karkat’s face so they were staring each other in the eyes. Tears were forming in Dave’s eyes. “Yes.” Karkat’s eyes lifted in astonishment. “Yes! Yes, dude! I want to get married!” He squished himself against Karkat and started kissing away his tears, then all over. Karkat’s eyes, swollen and candy red, let out their last tears. 

“You do?” he sniffed, “Really? For sure?”

“You don’t need to ask me twice. I said yes, dinglefuck.” 

“Hey, cocksucking kringlefuck, I was just making sure you weren’t playing a cruel joke.” Karkat’s trembling voice cracked halfway through his speech. Dave could tell it was still too much for Karkat to believe, that Dave had said yes with no exceptions. 

Dave put his hands in Karkat’s hair and smiled at him. “I love you.” 

Karkat’s face blushed redder than a lobster, “I...love you too.” He held the back of Dave’s head and pushed his lips into his. Their warm tears and blushing faces made them feel like they were in front of a cozy fire, after hours running through rain and wind. They each felt like home. 

Karkat pulled back, held Dave’s hand, then led him to the couch. He sat him down. Karkat already had a movie on the TV and started playing it. 

“Were you planning to snuggle in suits?” asked Dave. He hadn’t realized how stiff they were until now. 

“I was planning that we’d take them off,” Karkat leaned over and stole another kiss from Dave as he untied his tie. He put blankets on them just as they prepared to undress, “What? We might get cold?” 

Dave laughed and unbuttoned Karkat’s suit. “I can’t believe I’m going to fuck you with Troll Friends with Benefits in the background.” 

“Are you saying you’d fuck to anything else?” chuckled Karkat, as he pressed his body and lips against Dave.


End file.
